Thursday, August 29, 2013

What it means to be held

There have been times, more so in the recent months, where I felt like God was far away from me.  It felt like He has had more important things to handle; so the struggles going on in my life would need to take a backseat for awhile.  I have felt lost.  I have felt discouraged.  I have felt betrayed.  I have felt frustrated.  I have felt angry.  I even got to a point where I was so mad at God for allowing circumstances to happen that (and I'm embarrassed to admit this) I didn't WANT to talk to God anymore.  It felt like what was the point.  After all, for my entire life, I've been told that He knows my heart.  He knows what I'm am going through and He sees the tears that I cry.  So, why do I need to tell Him yet again...?

So, why does a God that knows my hurt and brokenness, why, does He allow it to happen? 

I don't know the "Sunday school" answer.  But, I do know what I am learning.
When my heart starts to hurt and the tears start to pool up in my eyes, I have found myself running to Him like a little girl begging her Daddy to pick her up, hold her, and let her cry on His shoulder.

I think about my nieces...the way they run to my brother and cry to him when they are hurt.  He picks them up and wraps his arms around them.  He nestles their hair with his face and just holds them tight.  He doesn't make the hurt go away.  He just holds them.  He holds them...

God, through so many circumstances in my life you have held me.  You have pulled me up close to You and held me.  You didn't change the situations. You didn't need to - because You just held me.  Thank you for being my Daddy and letting me run to You. 

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  ~ Isaiah 41:10 ~


Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Waiting for_____________!

Waiting is NOT something I am good at.  I am a go-getter.  I am a doer.  I am a mover and shaker...LOL!!  I just don't like sitting still and waiting.  As a kid, I had several teachers who used "progressive" means of encouraging me to stay in my seat and sit still.  I was HORRIBLE at waiting.  As I got older, this waiting thing did NOT get any better!  In fact, it would be safe to say it got worse - if that's possible!  Now, I know that God made me as a go-getter kinda person.  This can be used in very good ways.  But, when you are waiting on God to shine a light on the next step of your life's journey...let's just say the go-getter aspect can be a big fat pain in the you-know-what!  
So, I start praying and asking God to show something.  Reveal something.  Open something.  


So many verses in scripture tell me to wait, be patient.  Huh!  Like it's that easy!  Seriously, if the authors of scripture knew me, they would go into more detail of HOW!!  LOL!
So, I am waiting...waiting...waiting.  God WILL move when His time is right.  I will wait!  

"The vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry."  ~ Habakkuk 2:3 ~

Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!
~ Psalm 27:14 ~

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.  ~ Psalm 130:5 ~

But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.  ~ Isaiah 40:31 ~

Be still, and know that I am God...  ~ Psalm 46:10a ~  (I hear my Mom saying this verse to me!)

Monday, August 26, 2013


Yesterday at church,  I was, yet again, reminded that I do NOT know everything and I am NOT in control but my prayers are to a Sovereign God who DOES know everything and IS in control! 

Habakkuk 1 starts off by crying out to God for His help but blatantly stating that God does not hear him.  He cries out to God for rescue from his circumstances, but then states that God will not save him. 
He goes on to say in verse 4 that, basically, justice is on the downslide and life is just not fair...
Hmm...!!!  That sounds alot like how I pray to God!  I know I find myself crying to Him because I am hurting or out of control of my circumstances and I just want God to remove me from the situation (or better yet remove the situations!).  But, I then think to myself that it's not going to do any good.
Habakkuk felt like God wasn't listening.  He may have even questioned if he was praying the right way or if he needed to say things differently so that God would hear him. (been there, done that!)

What I realized through the message preached was that God's sovereignty GIVES Him the right to answer our prayers the way He deems best.  Now, I know that is something I have heard and known practically all my life.  But, when I stopped and thought about prayer and how it should intertwine with God's sovereinty...!!!  WOW! 

Ben said something that just rang so clear in my head.   "Anything after the cross of Jesus Christ is a bonus in your life!"  So the things I pray for, after my salvation in the blood of Jesus Christ, is all extra benefits given to me from a Sovereign God.  I am NOT guaranteed a good job.  I am NOT guaranteed a good marriage.  I am NOT guaranteed good friends.  I am NOT guaranteed children.  ANYTHING AFTER THE CROSS OF JESUS IS A BONUS!  

So, my hope and challenge for myself is to remember and apply these lessons to my daily prayer life.  Trusting God and knowing that He is sovereign.  His plans are so much higher than mine.  

O Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not hear? Or cry to you “Violence!” and you will not save?
Why do you make me see iniquity, and why do you idly look at wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; strife and contention arise.
So the law is paralyzed, and justice never goes forth. For the wicked surround the righteous;
so justice goes forth perverted.  ~ Habakkuk 1:2-4 ~

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Who we are in Jesus

"I wish a guy can come up to me say ur cute like they mean it and tlk to me and give me their number and ask me out but ik tht never will happen to me."
This was a facebook post from a young girl I know.
It makes me sad.

She is a sweet funny kind friendly girl.  Most importantly, she is a daughter of the King of kings.  She is a cherished princess of the Most High God.  Her value and worth is NOT in a guy and his words.  Her beauty is NOT in what he thinks or says to her.  Her importance on this earth is NOT based on whether she is asked out by a guy.   
When did we stop teaching our girls their heritage?  When did we stop passing on the legacy to them of who they are in Jesus???  Parents, please please PLEASE!!!  Love your daughters enough to instill in them their value and worth in Jesus' eyes!  Make sure you tell them everyday that they are daughters of the KING!  They are cherished by the God of the universe!  They are loved by the One who put the stars in the sky!  

If you don't tell them, they will search out someone who will tell them...


Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Can a broken heart be fixed?

Everybody has had their heart broken in some way.  People let us down.  They disappoint us.  They walk away.  They say things that hurt us.  They stop coming around.  We are human and our hearts-our emotions-they can be trampled and crushed by others.  It is, unfortunately, a part of this life we live.  No one is immune or can escape it.  We do our very best to protect ourselves against this because once the heart is broken, it seems that, even put back together, it's not completely whole anymore.
The Bible says in Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”... so, HOW does He do that?!?   I believe He can save us by giving us a "heart transplant"! 
So, I believe what God is trying to get through my head is this:
  • when your heart is guilty, I will give you a heart that has been forgiven
  • when your heart is resentful, I will give you a heart filled with peace
  • when your heart is anxious, I will give you a heart that is confident
  • when your heart is lonely, I will give you a heart filled with My Love
  • when your heart is bitter and angry, I will give you a heart that is forgiving, loving and generous.

Psalm 119:32 says, “I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.”

I have no idea what God has planned for my life, but I really need to stop limiting God!!  He can take care of my heart.  He can transplant it and give me a new heart - NOT a replacement, but a BRAND NEW heart!  

YAY for me and HALLELUJAH for a God that can do all that!! 

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Have you ever...?

Have you ever read a scripture verse that you've read dozens of times and for some reason it just makes you question things?
I was reading a passage from Proverbs 3, I am sure everyone has heard it before:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and He will make straight your paths.
I read this and I stopped and thought "How do I trust with ALL my heart?"  "How do I know that my WHOLE heart is trusting?"  I mean, I think I am.  I say I am.  I do my best to live like I am.  But, there are days when I am really not sure that I AM trusting with all my heart.   I continually hear God talking to me and I am so sure that He gets frustrated with me!  It's like the parent that continually tells their child something and then watches their child do the opposite...that's what I feel like when it comes to trusting.  So, how do I know for sure that I am trusting God?  
Each time I find myself questioning Him, His voice speaks in some way, whether a verse of scripture, a text from a sweet friend, a post on facebook, or a song on the radio.  I hear His voice prompting me to trust Him.  I don't always understand or know what the outcome will be.  I don't have to. Why?  Because I trust God!

In God I trust; I shall not be afraid. what can man do to me?  
~ Psalm 56:11 ~