When God speaks

God has been speaking to me...

I struggle with several things that I have begun to realize I will ALWAYS struggle with!  That, in and of itself, is a WIN!  I don't like it, but hey, who said everything was going to be roses in life!

However, a couple of things happened this past week really took me by surprise, touched my heart, and made me hear God speaking to me!
In our small group last Thursday, we went around the room and each person had to choose someone and tell them what we appreciated about them.  A friend chose me and then she began to explain why...She appreciated that I was so open and upfront with my struggles, my flaws, and my mistakes.  WHAT?!?!?

First off, I thought my flaws were pretty obvious!  I'm so 'in your face' most of the time so I always assumed that EVERYONE just knew what my flaws were!
Secondly, I only share with my small group because I feel safe there.  I know that they will not judge me or think less of me because of my mistakes.
Lastly, I didn't even realize that this person struggles with some of the same things that I struggle with.  She is a private person and it's just not her nature to expose shortcomings to others.  So by my sharing, I inadvertantly ministered to her on a quiet level (LOL...me, quiet?!? Only by God's grace!)

Then, a couple days ago, I got a facebook message from an old youth.  She said that she missed me and everything I stood for.  She said she liked that I wasnt afraid to let my personality show...
This youth has alot of the same struggles and "flaws" that I have, so she admired that I was able to be the real me.  WOW!


So, God has been speaking to me in BOLD ways about the fact that He created me in a wonderful and beautiful way!  I just can't figure out why it has taken me this long to allow God to talk to me so freely!

Psalm 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 

Can't put into words!

My husband, Claude, he is one that I just can't put into words how special and unque he is!  I've never known ANYONE that can do so many things and still be humbled by the compliments he gets over the things he does!  Well, one of his MANY talents is welding!  I caught him welding together a new cart for our portable church!  Very cool stuff!  Check it out:

How lucky am I!?!  I get to spend my days and nites with this man!  As Julie Andrews said in The Sound Of Music..."I must of done something good"!!!

I got nothin'...

HAHAHA!!!
I am sitting in front of the computer thinking about all the stuff that's been going on over the last couple weeks and I am drawing a blank on what to blog about...LOL!!  It's funny because there HAS been things happening, but it's just "life" so I don't think too much about it as "blog-worthy".

However,  THAT made me think about something I learned this year at the CATALYST Conference in Georgia...

There was a speaker there named Priscilla Shirer.  She told this story about herself growing up.  She was asleep in her bedroom (that she shared with her sister) when a fire broke out at the house behind theirs.  She said her sister literally climbed over her in the bed to look out the window that was over HER bed and that her mom came into the room and hovered over her to look out that same window...all the while, she slept through it.  She slept through the fire engines and the ambulance noises.  SHE SLEPT THROUGH IT!!!  Her point to the story (or what I took from it!) was that important things happen and we often times "sleep" through them.
Sometimes, we are so busy looking back to the past thinking, wondering, wishing...
Sometimes, we are so busy looking to the future thinking, wondering, hoping...
We are so busy with the past and the future that we are "sleeping" through the present!  We miss the little things that are happening in our day to day lives that make it beautiful, precious, liveable!

So, I want to look to the future and remember the past, but I really want to focus on today and what God is doing in my life daily!  There is so much in my everyday life...I don't want to sleep through it.

I am learning!

Ever since we moved to NC from FL to help plant a church, I have felt "unqualified".  I mean, seriously, think about all the things that you think you know spiritually and how your spiritual maturity is your own responsibility.  But then think about the idea of being "on display" as an example for others of what to be (or, in my case ALOT OF TIMES, what NOT to be!).  I am not sure where my insecurities generated from.  I had always considered myself bold and "confident".  But for some reason, I had lost that confidence and had allowed satan to slip in the back door and use me because of them.

God has been teaching me so many things over the past several months.  I have so many things to work on and to allow God to work on through me.  One thing I am definitely starting to believe is that God CAN and WILL use me, flaws and all, IF I allow Him to!  He can use a loud, feisty, bossy, take-charge, no room for error, roll over people to get things done kind of woman!  He made me with the personality to be bold and to stand firm.  He also can TEACH me how to do things with grace and with kindness!  I am starting to believe that God CAN USE ME and I am qualified!  

I AM LEARNING!

But I want what she has...!

I am reading this book with a couple of great ladies at church and we meet once a week to discuss what we've learned and how we can apply the truths to our own lives! The book is called" Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl". Let me tell you, this woman could've been me!!! She writes and it sounds like things I have thought, wished, wanted, done, imagined, acted, said, etc...you understand!!!

In one of the chapters she's writing about becoming more than a Bible study girl in our relationships. She talked about how we as women so many times want to be other women or to attain the status of other women, to have attributes of other women, or simply possess the lifestyle of other women. I humbly admit that I have done all of these things at least a thousand times in my life. One paragraph in particular really made me stop and cnsider what God wants from me and how I am so far from hitting the mark on it. She quotes Matthew 11:28-30 where it talks about Jesus telling us to come to him all of us who are weary and heavy burdened because his yoke is easy and his burden is light. Now, I've been a Christian for a very long time and I gotta say that there have been MANY TIMES when I would not have considered the yoke easy and the burden light!!! But, she points out several thngs that I hadn't considered. First, I am probably trying to carry the burden myself, thus, it's not easy and light! Well...DUH! The second part I will quote so that I don't lose the meaning she intended:

"Note a couple key words in these verses. A yoke is a wooden frame used to harness two draft animals to whatever they have to pull. The Greek word for "easy" can also mean "well-fitted". Combine this information together and it appears that Jesus is saying he has equipped each of us with well fitted assignments in life. As long as we do and aspire to only what he calls us, our burden will not only be changeable, it will be light."

WOW!!!

The more I study and read about how God has a unique plan for me, the less I worry about wanting to be someone else! I'm not saying that I am completely free of this struggle, but I have more peace about myself, my calling, and the things God has in store for me!!!