Sunday, September 18, 2011

Why am I up?

It's after 1am and I can not sleep.  My mind will not stop thinking about some things that are on my heart.  I don't even know how to put the thoughts into words...

How does a parent stand and watch their child change right before their eyes?  How do they watch as the child that they have loved and cared for, the child they have poured into and nurtured, start down a wrong path that will lead to heartache and sadness?  What kind of emotions and struggles must that parent go through?  I mean, you can't make every decision for that child, right?  How difficult it must be for the parent to have to let go of that child and rest on God's Word that He loves them MORE than you, the parent, does!

The older I get...the wiser I become...the more I work with kids and teenagers (especially teenagers!!)...the more I see how God knew exactly what He was doing when He chose NOT to give me children of my own...I don't know if my heart could take it., teenagers, adult "kids"...if you are so blessed as to have parents (or a parent) in your life, THANK GOD for them and TELL them how much you love and appreciate them!  They have a NEVERENDING job that doesn't stop when you go to bed.  They don't quit loving/worrying/begging God on your behalf!  Once you are a parent, that job is yours until the day God calls you home...

Mom & Dad, there will never be enough words to express my overwhelming thanks and admiration.  You raised ME...I know I was a challenge (still am, at times!), but you were tirelessly praying and fighting for me to have the best that God had planned for me.  I get that now.  Til the day I die, I will always consider you my heros.  I love you and...Mom, the tears, the prayers, the pain, the sacrifices...they were NOT in vain.


  1. That is the part of parenting that down right scares me!! I can only hope and pray that Ella and Noah will make good decisions in their teenage years, but they, too, are only human. How heartbreaking it would be to see them take a destructive path! Agh! Can't even think about it :(

    Still I can only hope that they will be lucky like the youth of Crosslink to have someone like you, Sheila! You truly love these kids like they are your own and it shows! How lucky their parents are that there is someone else who is praying and shepparding their kids! What a blessing to have someone love your child as their own so much that she's up after 1am in prayer! I love you and your heart for teenagers!!!

  2. Aww...! Thanks Laci for those wonderful words. I didn't post it to rant or brag or anything like that. I just couldn't sleep and I felt like I needed to unload what was weighing on my heart. Watching you and Lora and some of the other parents, I use to be really envious, but now I think I really have so much admiration and awe for how hard it must be to love someone so much that your life is second thought compared to theirs. I think about all the sacrifices that my parents made for us and how "unimportant" they seemed to be back then. Now, I just feel extremely blessed!
    Ella, Noah, & "peanut" are so blessed to have you as their mommy! Your sweet tender heart is a precious commodity in today's world! I am so glad to be able to call you my friend!

  3. Sheila, I did reach out after youth so we will see what comes up. I will keep you informed.

  4. Thanks Derick! It is so wonderful to know you love these kids just as much as we do!!! It is a true blessing to work alongside you in this ministry!