Thursday, August 29, 2013

What it means to be held

There have been times, more so in the recent months, where I felt like God was far away from me.  It felt like He has had more important things to handle; so the struggles going on in my life would need to take a backseat for awhile.  I have felt lost.  I have felt discouraged.  I have felt betrayed.  I have felt frustrated.  I have felt angry.  I even got to a point where I was so mad at God for allowing circumstances to happen that (and I'm embarrassed to admit this) I didn't WANT to talk to God anymore.  It felt like what was the point.  After all, for my entire life, I've been told that He knows my heart.  He knows what I'm am going through and He sees the tears that I cry.  So, why do I need to tell Him yet again...?

So, why does a God that knows my hurt and brokenness, why, does He allow it to happen? 

I don't know the "Sunday school" answer.  But, I do know what I am learning.
When my heart starts to hurt and the tears start to pool up in my eyes, I have found myself running to Him like a little girl begging her Daddy to pick her up, hold her, and let her cry on His shoulder.

I think about my nieces...the way they run to my brother and cry to him when they are hurt.  He picks them up and wraps his arms around them.  He nestles their hair with his face and just holds them tight.  He doesn't make the hurt go away.  He just holds them.  He holds them...

God, through so many circumstances in my life you have held me.  You have pulled me up close to You and held me.  You didn't change the situations. You didn't need to - because You just held me.  Thank you for being my Daddy and letting me run to You. 

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  ~ Isaiah 41:10 ~


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